Tinder is a location-based social search mobile app that facilitates communication between mutually interested users, allowing matched users to chat. The app is most commonly used as a dating app or hookup app, but it also has services, making it a social media application too. But let’s face it, it’s a hook-up app!
It’s really simple, you either swipe left to pass on someone or right swipe to connect with the user. It pulls data from the user’s Facebook profile and displays photos and other bullshit. Apparently, we found this little guy and he has a crush-tacean on you! His name is Todd and he hails from the ponds of Jennings, Louisiana. The team at Southern Satire interviewed Todd the Crawfish:
“Yeah, so I got suckered into Plenty of Fish dot com, and despite the delicious name, no fish. I was pretty upset about that initially. The user interface was terrible. Then I checked out this Tinder thing and it was just what I was looking for. I saw Lafayette women that were hotter than a bloody turkey neck. It’s quite obvious that I don’t have hands, so the user interface of Tinder was really perfect for me as I can just claw left and claw right,” said the crawfish.
We asked the crawfish if he was looking for a girlfriend. “Yeah, man. I’m single and ready mingle. I’m not lookin’ for anything long-term to be honest,” he states. “Don’t publish this, …but I’m just tryin’ to get my head sucked, nah mean? lmao!”
Todd is a single red crawfish and he has no kids, as he states, “I’m not ready to be a craw-dad.”