Just not the same without Robin Williams.
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Night at the Museum is a trilogy of fantasy-comedy films beginning in 2006 and ending in 2014. All three films, based on the children’s book The Night at the Museum by Milan Trenc, are directed by Shawn Levy and written by Robert Ben Garant and Thomas Lennon. The normally stars wholesome comedy stars Ben Stiller, Robin Williams, Ricky Gervais, and Carla Gugino.

I suppose that producers decided that they would try to reboot the franchise despite the the passing of Robin Williams in 2014, who single-handedly started a wholesome comedy renaissance during his career. Watching the film, you can tell that the actors hearts just aren’t in it anymore. Williams’ character was replaced by a Randy Quaid, who portrays Confederate General Stonewall Jackson.

Randy Quaid in a family movie, really guys”

Anyway, Quaid plays a disgruntled Confederate General that is losing significance at the Memorial Hall Confederate Civil War Museum in New Orleans due to overcrowding. There are now multiple statues, that come to life at night of course: Robert E. Lee, another Stonewall Jackson, JEB Stuart, James Longstreet, Braxton Bragg, etc. In present day United States, the Confederate statues are being removed from city parks, and other locations, because they’re just racist as f*** and celebrating a losing side of a war on American soil. It used to be that Quaid’s character came to life at night, sang battle hymns, and sexual harassed the female statuary at the memorial hall, but due to overcrowding (think Angola Prison) via a new slew at the hall, he’s losing a lot of his ground.

Thus begins a turf war between all of the Confederate statues and it just gets really ugly. Ben Stiller does not look bemused and is mostly just appalled the entire time, which doesn’t help whatsoever because Stiller is Jewish in real life, which caused a LOT of controversy in the movie. I’m not even sure if we can call this a family movie at this point.

The apex of the film comes in the third act when it is revealed that there is a reasonable, non-racist Stonewall Jackson (Quaid) that tries to convert everyone over and decommission the Confederate flag. It starts what it is an extremely meta, Civil war within the Civil War. I have to give it to them, that was very clever. If you enjoy listening to your grandpa tell racist jokes about the good ol’ days and banter about Confederate values, about heritage not hate, then this movie is for you.

This is a pile of Confederate statues outside of the museum that comes to life at night and tells racist jokes.

“Very enlightening, a great, wholesome movie for the entire family, ” says Bill O’Reilly

“Best movie I’ve ever seen. It truly shows our proud heritage as Sons of the Confederacy,” says the old guy at work.

“Holy shit that was racist!” – Siskel and Roeper

“Jesus F*&(#ing Christ, guys. Serious?…” said The New York Times

In a theater near you, January 2018.

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