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Zydeco is a musical genre that evolved in southwest Louisiana by French Creole speakers which blends blues, rhythm and blues, and music indigenous to the Louisiana Creoles and the Native people of Louisiana. The instruments include an accordion, a vest frottoir (washboard), guitars, drums, Cajun fiddle, bass guitar, etc. It’s common to hear songs sang in English and Cajun French. There’s just one problem: Millennials tend to not speak Cajun French due to the language dying out and not being used as frequently as it was in the past.

The writers at Southern Satire had a mission. That mission was to attend local zydeco shows, listen to the songs, and translate the lyrics to truly enjoy the experience. What we found was shocking! On the surface, the songs seem like dancing, passing a good time, love stories, etc, but it seems that local zydeco musicians actually don’t know Cajun French either! We were surprised to find that 90% of musicians just threw words into Google Translate and hoped for the best.

Most songs actually just about garlic bread.

Here’s a concise list of things that Zydeco musicians are actually singing about in broken Cajun French:

  • Bar soap
  • Napkins
  • Light yogurt
  • Marmalade
  • Buffalo Wild Wings
  • Trees
  • Loyalty Programs
  • Avocado Toast
  • Gen X’s Retirement
  • Student Loans
  • Staggering Debt
  • Applebee’s
  • Kix cereal
  • Sharon Moss
  • New Balance shoes
  • Turdko Brodad
  • Garlic bread
  • Brad from Breaux Bridge

There you have it folks.