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We’ve all been there. The internet at work is filtered and super slow. The last thing you want to do is go talk to the IT guy at work, because he’s totally full of himself and the biggest dork you’ve ever seen, but what if you can persuade him to give you access?

Samantha has had enough she went to the local IT guy thinking that she could persuade him to give her a better connection if she showed off some assets. In most cases, this would probably work out in her favor, but she did not expect what would happen next.

Samantha decides to go talk to the weird ass IT guy.

What Samantha did not anticipate is that IT guys are a strange bunch. They sit in their office, make snarky remarks, and typically complain about “users” as a form of socialization. She put on her best top and went in to schmooze the nerd in hopes of getting special access privileges. Upon reporting to the office, she got the biggest surprise of her life which involved calling security and getting first responders to the scene immediately.

The IT dude totally lost consciousness. He went into a repetitive state and kept repeating, “ERROR 404 HUMAN EMOTION NOT FOUND.”

To Samantha’s surprise, the IT began convulsing upon receipt of mass boobage and dropped to the floor, which was littered with ethernet cables and Magic cards. First responders were at the scene with Southern Satire arrived and only heard, “ERROR 404. Page Not Found. Please contact your administrator.”

We ask that please, if you happen to approach your local IT guy, do so with caution and be conservative. They are subject to overload and do not know how to process things like this.

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