Cajun Swap Meat: South Louisiana’s Newest Gay Hookup App

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Move out of the way, Grindr! There’s a new hookup app in town. Users are raving as they are moving to the app store in droves in an effort to download the hottest new mobile application. The app uses GPS proximity on mobile devices in an effort to search for other Cajun men that are nearby for some spicy man-on-man action!

I’m just so happy to see that there is a great new application to assist me with finding some hot new gloryholes in the area!

S. Tony Meche

The application itself plans to team up with area truck drivers and offshore workers in order to find the best gloryholes and hook-up spots for sex, rating them with their unique systems of “spiciness.” For instance, the restroom at Beaver Park has 5 out of 5 cayenne peppers and the 2019 Crossed Boudin award for cleanliness.

The app utilizes your standard swipe left and swipe right features. It also uses a state-of-the-art matching algorithm and end-to-end encryption so that privacy and safety is not compromised. We wouldn’t want to see anyone’s Magellan shirt in a twist over discretion.

The leadership at Agaydiana United is excited about the new sex-positive application and is sponsoring the initial rollout, hiring many of the workers from now defunct Waitr as administrators. The idea is to help maintain safety of the users ranging from physical safety, outreach, HIV/AIDs education and relief efforts, and other important measures that will support the Acadiana LGBTQ community.

We talked to another users, Brenda Fontenot who told us:

I cannot wait to get on their and enjoy some delicious hot meats delivered to my door!

Brenda F., Church Point, La.

Let it be known at this moment in time that in Acadiana “WE HAVE THE SHMEATS!”

If you enjoyed this article, you may enjoy our story about the Cajun VR simulator for those who live North of I-10!
Special thanks to The Daily Crawfish as one of our associate satire news friends.